We’ve been binge re-watching Game of Thrones, and while I can look with amazement at the way the characters were developed and the way the seasons flowed, I cannot forgive the ending. For me, it surpassed the underwhelming ending of True Blood to become the worst ending I’ve ever experienced.
So, in honor of this latest television binge, I’ve adapted the phrase so often heard in the series. My wife is the Mother of Four-Legged Animals. She has a t-shirt that says I Want all the Dogs, and she does. Based upon her behavior, however, I think the t-shirt should say…I Want all the Four-Legged Animals. I realize that the latter doesn’t roll off the tongue like I Want All the Dogs, but in reality, I Want All the Four-legged Animals is far more accurate.
There is a horse that made the trip from Virginia to Texas, who simply couldn’t be left behind. Then, there is the first rescue dog, who will be introduced in the sequel to The Accidental World. Also in residence is a rescue cat. Nearly starved, this four-legged animal staggered up to my wife and fell down at her feet. The cat, Jasper, looked to be on the wrong side of a street fight. Battered and bruised, he lay at my wife’s feet and guess what happened next. There is a trend starting here, so hang with me for a minute more.
One day recently, I was in bed, and my alarm had just gone off at 3:30 pm. (I manage part of the night-shift operations at a local Amazon building.) As I reached over to push the snooze button on my phone, my wife came into the bedroom and sat beside me on the edge of the bed.
“I want you to remember how much you love me,” she said.
In my mind, warning sirens started going off. Nothing good could come out of a conversation that started that way. She paused for a moment, and then she spilled it all out.
“I was seeing a patient, and it was pouring outside. I happened to see this dog curled up in a ball under the overhang of an apartment building, trying to stay dry. I asked around, and no one knew who the dog belonged to. I asked the parent of my patient, and she said it was a stray and had been getting into the trash looking for food. I checked the dog, and it didn’t have a collar. I took it to the vet, and it wasn’t chipped, and it was skin and bones…and then I brought it home.”
The Mother of Four-Legged Animals had another rescue she named Elsa. So the word is out in the animal kingdom. Go on an extreme diet for a couple of weeks, practice your most pitiful look, and then fall at the feet of the redhead. Because when you do, you will live your best life ever.
I’ve heard people say that they when they die, they want to reincarnate as a soaring eagle, a wolf, a stag, or a bear. Not me. I want to reincarnate as one of my wife’s rescues because I know that she will never stay mad at me for very long, she will make sure that I eat before she does, and she will always address me with a patient and loving voice. Who wants to be a proud, majestic predator when you can be a pampered family member of the Mother of Four-Legged Animals?